If you happen to remember me bitchin’ about how much this fucking cat has been shedding, I have an update fer ya.
Out she went.
Never have I seen such shit.
The little motherfucker decided that being outside is what it wanted and now I know why, it knew I was going to skin it after I found out just how cat fur can find it’s way into everything just like fine dust does.
Son. Of. A. Bitch..
I been sick for the last few days. some kind of lingering crud, who knows.
I woke up this morning fairly early and didn’t feel too bad so I got online and caught The Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi doing her break dance of unaccountability at the convention of Dirty Fuckin’ Hippies in Texas this morning.
Right on cue she pulled Al Gore out of her ass when the heat came on. No one could have foreseen there would actually be pertinent questions asked that required real answers. What a fucking disgrace, she will think twice about talking to real people and start hand picking her audience just like those pussy motherfuckers Bush and McCain, you watch.
Real peoples iz hard!
Useless individual.
Actually, she has been veddy, veddy good to BushCo.
Anyway,
I had to crash out for a while again and finally got up to the realization that I was abso- fucking- lutely out of clean clothes.
I drug my ass out of bed and loaded up several different duffel bags and went and aquired a few rolls of quarters and hit the laundromat down the road.
Being half awake, I was also half aware that every thing I grabbed was a little fuzzy.
Check that, flat out hairy.
The main light I have burnt out a week ago and I have been using the twelve volt lights because I didn’t feel like fucking with it,it has been fairly dark in here and I didn’t give a shit because I haven’t felt good.
I got down there and started hauling the bags out of the truck and started going, WHAT THE FUCK?
Jesus Christ Almighty, I never seen such a thing, it was like spider webs all over everything, except it was fucking cat hair.
I spent five minutes just rubbing the hair off my duffel bags before I even went inside and then it just got sick.
Oh My Fucking God, Little fucker left me a surprise wrapped up in one pair of coveralls, i won’t even go there.
While the washers were going I kept opening the lid and scooping out wads of cat hair and shaking them off my hand.
Before I was done, there were wads of fucking cat hair all over the floor, walls and the machines.
I had to throw away two sweaters, no fucking way they could be salvaged. They have cameras there too, shit.
Then I spent ten minutes picking little wads of hair off of my clothes before I even threw them in the dryer.
No Mas, yer done cat. I even had to wash the duffel bags.
I have enough trouble in this fuckin’ place with dishes and beer cans.
You, the cat box, food dish, water dish and your fucking hair can go park yerself outdoors.
I also noticed Baby Girl is chewing on her ass area pretty good lately, that means one thing, fleas.
On the way home I stopped and got flea collars, powder and those killer little drops ya put on the back of their necks, I ain’t fucking dealing with that shit, Don’t fuck with me, I’ll get the carb cleaner out.
If I have to, I’ll flick a Bic and turn it into a flame thrower, homey don’t play, scorched earth policy all the way.
If it seems I don’t have any sense of humor with this, I don’t. I dealt with that shit last year when Baby had five fucking kittens and I damn near lost all of ‘em from gettin’ ate up , poor little varmints.
Either way, the cat ain’t coming back in.
I’m still sweeping cat hair up, I just had no idea the sonofabitch was sleeping INSIDE my duffel bags when I wasn’t here.