What I Will Be Doing Today

Working on my POS British car of course.
Miserable sonofabitch.

While I have the fucking transmission out of the car I decided I might as well throw some “tune up” parts at the little fucker.

I paid damn near a thousand dollars fifteen years ago for a rebuilt transmission that I can pick up with one hand.
Of course, it wasn’t rebuilt completely I find out later.
It likes to jump out of fourth gear and the case hardening came off the main shaft so that when I checked the oil after a few hundred miles it was basically liquid chrome.
I was in the middle of moving and the subsequent break up with my ex at the time and never dealt with it.

Hopefully, it is just the detente balls and springs letting it jump out of gear, they are cheap.

trans

I have two other transmissions, one reverse is fucked in and one I have no idea if it works or not.

I am going to gamble on this one for now.

In other news, I got woke up this morning after a whopping five hours of sleep by the kid, all excited about cats or some fucking thing.

I got up unhappy, grabbed some coffee and my smokes and headed out to the garage.

That is when I found out we have three fucking kittens under the house and they had wandered into the garage through a hole in the wall behind the washing machines.

Cute?
Fuck me are they cute little buggers.

Two of them are Maine Coons bigger than shit, they have that big “M” on their foreheads.
They don’t have the tufts on their ears but there is no mistaking the markings.

kitten

That explains the strange cat I saw in the garage last week.

Momma kitty obviously.

They are at least a month old.
The wife says I can’t keep any because we already have two.

One of them is about fifteen years old though and we just may be getting a new kitten anyway, wifey.

I want the runt. She laid in my lap like she had been there her whole life and took a little nap.

If there is one thing I am a sucker for, it is cute little kittens.

Damnit.

It Was Only A Matter Of Time

Jesus there are some pussy motherfuckers in this country.
I would be afraid to show my face in public if I had written this bullshit.*

Putting a lid on it

Look at the damage pressure cookers can do in the wrong hands.The Boston Marathon tragedy and use of pressure cookers by terrorists for their explosive devices proves that pressure cookers should be controlled.

Even if they’re only used in the kitchen, pressure cookers can be hazardous. We should limit the public’s ability to obtain or own a pressure cooker with a capacity of more than six quarts, and we should approve such a purchase only after the buyer undergoes a complete background check.

Who has a need or right to own a 23-quart-capacity pressure cooker? And, of course, the individual making and exploding the bomb and enhancing its destructive force with a pressure cooker is not responsible for what happens with it; it’s the fault of the evil manufacturers and of the stores that sell the pressure cookers.
Richard King, Virginia Beach

pressure cooker

Image acquired with gratitude from Plan Of The Day.

* It’s obviously sarcasm but we all know someone, somewhere out there is thinking this out loud and feels it to be necessary, “For The Children”.

Gag.

U.S. Intelligence Reports Syria Used Poison Gas, Finally

Damn, these guys are really on the ball.

(CNN) — The United States has evidence that the chemical weapon sarin has been used in Syria on a small scale, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel said Thursday.

But numerous questions remain about the origins of the chemical and what impact its apparent use could have on the ongoing Syrian civil war and international involvement in it.

When asked if the intelligence community’s conclusion pushed the situation across President Barack Obama’s “red line” that could potentially trigger more U.S. involvement in the war, Hagel said it’s too soon to say.

“We need all the facts. We need all the information,” he said. “What I’ve just given you is what our intelligence community has said they know. As I also said, they are still assessing and they are still looking at what happened, who was responsible and the other specifics that we’ll need.”

The only problem I have is that this is old news.

Four fucking months ago Syrian opposition fighters reported several deaths caused by a deadly gas attack and U.S. Intelligence is just now getting around to confirming it?

Way to go fella’s.

This is just one more example of why I go out of country for news sources.

Constitution V1.0 Obsolete According To His Majesty Bloomberg

This fucking asshole is really starting to bother me.
Who the fuck died and left this bastard King?

In the wake of the Boston Marathon bombings, Mayor Michael Bloomberg said Monday the country’s interpretation of the Constitution will “have to change” to allow for greater security to stave off future attacks.

“The people who are worried about privacy have a legitimate worry,” Mr. Bloomberg said during a press conference in Midtown. “But we live in a complex word where you’re going to have to have a level of security greater than you did back in the olden days, if you will. And our laws and our interpretation of the Constitution, I think, have to change.”

Wait for it, waiiiiit for it……

“Look, we live in a very dangerous world. We know there are people who want to take away our freedoms. New Yorkers probably know that as much if not more than anybody else after the terrible tragedy of 9/11,” he said.

“We have to understand that in the world going forward, we’re going to have more cameras and that kind of stuff. That’s good in some sense, but it’s different from what we are used to,” he said.

The mayor pointed to the gun debate and noted the courts have allowed for increasingly stringent regulations in response to ever-more powerful weapons.

“Clearly the Supreme Court has recognized that you have to have different interpretations of the Second Amendment and what it applies to and reasonable gun laws … Here we’re going to to have to live with reasonable levels of security,” he said, pointing to the use of magnetometers to catch weapons in city schools.

“It really says something bad about us that we have to do it. But our obligation first and foremost is to keep our kids safe in the schools; first and foremost, to keep you safe if you go to a sporting event; first and foremost is to keep you safe if you walk down the streets or go into our parks,” he said. “We cannot let the terrorists put us in a situation where we can’t do those things. And the ways to do that is to provide what we think is an appropriate level of protection.”

For one thing, clearly the Supreme Court has shown it’s self to be a group of partisan hacks that do everything in their power to avoid applying the words of the Constitution ver batim as they were written.

There should not have to be any “interpretation” of the fucking Constitution in the first place.
What problem with reading comprehension do these people have anyway?

For another thing, Mayor Bloomberg, who the fuck are you to be telling anyone living outside the City of New York to do any fucking thing?
Hey asshole, you are a fucking Mayor, not a fucking Senator and most definitely not a king so shut your fucking pie hole dick weed.

I could care less what you think dickhead.

You worry about your own ass and leave the law making to the other incompetent cocksuckers who are already plenty busy finding ways to strangle our God given freedoms in every way imaginable. You know, actual legislators?
They don’t need your help,peckerhead.

In short, Fuck You asshole.

Get some help for you delusions of granduer complex you Nanny motherfucker, don’t you have a city council meeting or something to keep your ass busy?

Fuck Me Blind

Or should I say, Fuck Me, I AM blind.
I just got back from an eye exam.
It was way overdue and I have been cheating for several years now by going to the Dollar Store and getting cheap asses spectacals.
What the fuck, they work, ya know?

I have had my eyes checked twice now since I was in junior high school.
The last time was about five or six years ago.

At that time, the lady told me I was getting cataracts and gave me a prescription for the same strength glasses I was wearing that I also paid a whopping dollar for.

What a joke.

So today, they ran me through the gamut, put the drops in my eyes, yadda yadda yadda.
No signs of any fucking cataracts.

That kind of pissed me off even though it was a relief.
Nothing like living with the thought of something as serious as that nibbling away in the back of your mind for nothing.

Cheerful fucking bunch, I gotta give ’em credit for that.
The one chick who was having me look at frame samples was obviously distracted by something the whole time I was talking to her though.
This is where it got ,interesting, shall I say.

I need bifocals. OK.
I also have to have safety glasses for work.

I don’t want to fuck around with multiple pairs of glasses either.
So she hauls out these boxes of frames, there are hundreds in display cases on the walls, and basically gives me a limited choice of some butt ugly mother, fuckers.
Seriously ugly.

What the fuck ever.
I finally picked out the least hideous set that were some ugly assed tiger striped brown shit. I asked if they came in basic black.
Big mistake.
The old,head to shoulder, head to other shoulder Valley Girl Bleach Blonde, “I dunno, I’ll have to go look” answer.

Here we fucking go.

A full five minutes this idiot is gone.
She finally comes back and says no.

What a surprise.
I finally just got some that are smoke colored.
Now the fun part.
Bifocals.
Do I want “progressive” lenses.
yes.
Scratch resistant?
yes.
Glare free coating?
Yes.
OK.
Tapetty tappety on the calculator annnnnd…..

The grand total for one basic ,ugly fucking pair of bifocals with the aforemention accouterments?
$745!!

Uhh, yeah.

That is when I leaned across the table to get her attention and said, “O.K., let’s get serious now”.

“You see these glasses I am wearing? They cost a dollar. They work just fine.
I’m not paying seven hundred and fifty dollars for those glasses, insurance or not”.

The look of cognitive dissonance on her face was quickly followed by shock, disbelief and juuust a flash of anger.
I’ll give her credit though, she recovered quickly.

She did get a little pissy but she said that if I just wanted what the insurance covered without having anything other than the copay come out of my ass pocket then they would be bifocals with the line across and none of the fancy coatings.
“Fine” I says.

What a fucking racket.

With a little help, I can see with 20/20 vision.
In two weeks I will get those ugly motherfuckers and call it good for now.
Later down the line I may change my mind but I just can’t see paying that kind of money for some butt ugly fucking glasses.

I saw Gucci and Calvin Klein frames on display while I was waiting and my asshole puckers just imagining what they charge for that shit!