To all you miserable sonsabitches celebrating your one fucking day of the year, I have words of encouragement.
Everywhere you look these days all you see are full grown adult men being portrayed as bumbling fucking idiots barely smart enough to tie their own shoes.
Trust me, sometimes my wife treats me like that and it seriously pisses me off.
I have news for all the cocksuckers out there who think this is (a.) funny and (b.) true.
If it weren’t for the Dads out there who actually do give a fuck about you wives and the multitudes of crotch fruit running amok in this country, you wouldn’t be able to leave your God damn house in the morning, if you even had a fucking house to leave.
These are the fucking guy’s who get up every morning and go to a fucking job they hate to pay for the fucking roof over your heads and all the useless crap you have to have to fill it up.
Cable, big screen t.v.’s, X Boxes, you fucking name it.
These are also the guys who have to watch what they say and do to try and set an example for the ungrateful little bastards who’s only thoughts are of updating their Facebook status and how to fanagle twenty bucks out of the old man so they can go hang out with their friends.
They are the disciplinarians and The Bad Guy when Mom has finally had enough of their shit and utters those words famous around the world, “Wait until your Father gets home”.
That’s right, the guy too fucking stupid to get ice out of the tray six out of seven days a week in your opinion is the same fucking guy you turn to when shit gets ugly and this is the one fucking day out of the year when you get him some sappy fucking card and maybe that power tool you know he has been wanting forever.
I got news for ya.
If he really wanted that power tool, he would get in HIS fucking car, go down to SEARS or wherever in the fuck it was, get in HIS ass pocket and BUY THE FUCKING THING with the money HE busts his fucking ass for every damn day.
As for being stupid and inept, I highly doubt that, if that were the case, this fucking country wouldn’t be open for business every day.
So you guy’s who get called Dad in between insults need to stand up on your two feet and hoist a cold one to yourselves.
Take the fucking day off and turn on the game or go out in your Man Cave and bust out that new power tool.
And the next time you go take a piss, leave the fucking lid up as a reminder that if you weren’t such a stand up guy, things would be very different.