It’s Grammar Nazi Time For You Ignorant Fucks Out There

I’m going to be up front here and tell you the fact is I flunked English in school.
I fucking HATED school.
I graduated high school, barely, with a 1.2 GPA.
Not because I am stupid, because I hated school.

Another fact for ya, my mother taught me how to read before I even started school.
I am intelligent, very intelligent and was told so by my teachers more times than I care to remember and even embarassed a few of them.

Now to my point. I read a lot on the computer.
I read some very intelligent people and I read some who while obviously have intelligence, seem to have forgotten about this thing called spellcheck. I will admit that I sometimes let things slide also.
I even read some who would crash that program. It’s the ideas and opinions that speak to me.

There is, however, one little item that clenches my jaws every fucking time I see it.
I’m sure it is a personal defect but it irritates the shit out of me and whenever I see it the author is automatically dinged ten demerits.
First, let me cover the basics with a handy little chart that I lifted from Life As I Know It Now.

I recommend you swipe it too if you see one that you recognize having trouble with in the past.

Now for the one that started this whole post.
Pay attention,there may be a written test.

THERE IS NO SUCH MOTHERFUCKING WORD AS “LOOSING”!*
It is LOSING.
ONE MOTHERFUCKING “O”!

You are not a fucking LOOSER for spelling it that way, you are a fucking LOSER.
Let me help you remember this lesson.

The motherfucking nut kept getting looser because the motherfucker who didn’t tighten it enough in the first place is a motherfucking loser.

Ya got that, ya motherfuckers?

One more time,

Loose= NOT Fucking TIGHT.
Lose= Mitt Fucking Romney.
Looser =Less Fucking Tight.
Loser = Karl Fucking Rove.

It’s that fucking simple.

* Commenter Lockwood reminds me that loosing is indeed a word, as in loosing an arrow or the dogs of war but my response to that is that the word is archaic and not commonly used anymore.

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18 thoughts on “It’s Grammar Nazi Time For You Ignorant Fucks Out There

  1. I could read before I started school too, hated school, and was told I was smart and was wasting it. More stuff we have in common, intelligent m***********rs that we are!

    I’ve always heard the expression as “LET loose the dogs of war”. I loose my arrows every time I fire them into the woods.

    Some “archaic” terms weren’t when I started using them so I still do.

    Gordon

  2. My pet peeve is s versus ‘s. Just S means THERE’S MORE THAN ONE. However, ‘S means IT BELONGS TO SOMEBODY (unless it’s a contraction). When I did office work, I saw a lot of resumes. Every time I’d see something like “Experience in computer’s” I would say something like “Experience in the computer’s *what*??” and toss the resume.

  3. You guys are making this English-major-turned-English-teacher’s heart go pitty pat. Thank you.

    Shakespeare said, “…let slip the dogs of war.” But it seems loose was said in that quote by someone.

    At any rate, I appreciate the discussion/tirade. These are points we should all have learned long ago.

    I can handle anyone using an archaic word if it is used correctly. Lots of words are archaic but are still used correctly. However, Mirriam Webster online does not identify this as an archaic word.

    Maybe if I used your chart for my GED class, they could have remembered all the information in the chart.

    Can you add another point–“alot” is not correct. We write ‘a little’ so we should write ‘a lot.” (That is how I tried in vain to get some students to remember.)

    I could not read before I went to school when I was five because I refused to. I also refused to count further than 10. My little brother who was almost four could count to ten before I could because he listened and was not stubborn. Of course, I learned immediately at school, much to the dismay of my mother. She was happy but dismayed I did not listen to her.

    By the way, even though I have over 100 hours in English, 33 college classes, not once was I required or even saw a grammar class offered for teachers. All I remember I learned before I was 14. Of course, practice all these years helped. Keep up the spelling and grammar talk.

    Grammer is for Kelsey! I could be a Grammer Nazi very easily.

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