If Youre Happy And You Know It, Clap Your Hands

I read this fucking horse shit in the paper yesterday and couldn’t believe my eyes.

Ben Bernanke wants to know if you are happy.

Just the first sentence alone was enough to elicit the urge to slap someone but it gets better.

The Federal Reserve chairman said Monday that gauging happiness can be as important for measuring economic progress as determining whether inflation is low or unemployment high. Economics isn’t just about money and material benefits, Bernanke said. It is also about understanding and promoting “the enhancement of well-being.”

That’s the feel good lead up.

“We should seek better and more-direct measurements of economic well-being,” Bernanke said Monday in a video-taped speech shown to a conference of economists and statisticians in Cambridge, Mass. After all, promoting well-being is “the ultimate objective of our policy decisions.”

Bernanke acknowledged that many people aren’t too happy right now. Unemployment rose in July to 8.3 percent, and economic growth has slowed sharply from the start of the year. He called the recovery “frustratingly slow” when he testified to Congress on July 17.

Gee, I wonder why that is Benny.

His speech Monday was the latest foray into a relatively new specialty in economics known as “happiness studies.” Bernanke attracted widespread notice when he spoke about the economics of happiness in a May 2010 commencement address at the University of South Carolina.

In that speech, he said research has found that once basic material needs are met, more wealth doesn’t necessarily make people happier.


The Kingdom of Bhutan has been tracking happiness for four decades. The tiny Himalayan nation stopped tracking gross national product in 1972 and instead switched to measuring Gross National Happiness.

Where to start with this steaming pile of shit?

Like maybe Helicopter Ben is just tired of keeping score?

Did your rich buddies run out of zeroes on their platinum calculators?

Surely it can’t be out of a sense of guilt for repeatedly ass raping ninety percent of the population in this country financially.

No, Benny the Rat just wants to know how happy everyone is because as he said, money isn’t everything, isn’t that right Grandma?

Tell that to the one percenter’s you fucking wanker.

If you want to know how fucking happy the average American is you fucking dolt, read the Goddamn numbers you get every fucking day.

The numbers don’t lie asshole. We are fucked.

We aren’t happy, WE ARE FUCKED!

If you really want to know how happy we are, get off your lazy ass and have your driver  take you out of your soft little cocoon of plushness and have him drop your ignorant ass off in  a suburb of Detroit.

I think if you live five minutes, you will get some idea of just how deliriously fucking happy we are with your economic policies.

If you want to know how idiotic this idea of yours is, go right downtown to the nearest food stamp or unemployment office and just ask anyone within shouting distance.

And you, gentle reader, do you know why you should be just a tad bit unhappier now?

I’ll tell you why.

Because Helicopter Ben will be using TAXPAYER MONEY for this  useless fuckery, that’s why.

If he has nothing better to do with his time then he needs to get the fuck out.


That would make me just a little bit happier.

Thanks fer stopping by and be sure and put on your happy faces for Benny!


5 thoughts on “If Youre Happy And You Know It, Clap Your Hands

  1. Putting his ass behind bars until he decomposes would make me somewhat happier. I can’t say what I’d really like to see happen to him because the Thought Police would bash my door in and kill my dog at 3 A.M.

  2. At least we now understand how totally dim-witted the 1%-ers are. It’s gotta be dim-witted and not just ignorant of the statistics that he’s responsible for trying to explain away everyday, because if it’s not dim-witted or ignorant then he’s gotta just be another arrogant SOB who blames the poor for not being happier with their sorry lot (which he is now responsble for).

    And we know it couldn’t be that – because the Dims are doing all they can in the face of the Rethug opposition.


    Love ya, bro!


  3. here we go. their attempt to CONVINCE US that we are happy with the shitburgers we get served each and every morning of our existence in the US now. “Cornvince the little people that they are happy with what they have, IN FACT, make them THANKFUL for their party favors. Make them give thanks to us, the bank industry, that they’re not living under bridges (all except those who actually ARE living under bridges, we’ll kill them). but the rest? make em; thankful for their spoonful of medicine making the shitclogs go down. eh? i think that was his point, don’t u. howzit, busted??? i’m gettin shitfaced tonight.

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