Comcast Can Suck My Fucking Dick

Ohh, those no good rotten, dirty ,fucking, asshole, bastard, dick sucking motherfucking stink holed fucking whorebait arrogant overpriced and under performing cysts on society have just wound me up.

 

We paid those fuckers a hundred and thirty bucks for their equipment and to activate their “services” for tee vee and internet, a mother fucking week ago today. Then they didn’t even give us all the shit we needed.

Excuse me?

This is what you do all day, every fucking day, hundreds of times a week?

Stupid assholes.

I’ll give you one guess as to how I am connected right now.

My kid found an unsecured wifi link with his X box from a neighbor.

 

Here I am at two o’clock in the fucking morning, swiping my neighbors internet connection in the middle of the fucking night because those incompetent assholes can’t figure out what is wrong with the cable system AFTER A FUCKING WEEK!

 

Oh, it’s not just us, they keep assuring my wife, it’s our “area”.

 

That must mean the ignorant fucks have a couple of blocks worth of pissed off customers and I’ll be God Damned if I have seen one fucking repair truck in this neighborhood all fucking week.

 

If this is indicative of how these cock suckers do business, someone is going to be passing gas uncontrollably from a brand new asshole that I am going to give them free of charge.

 

The wife keeps telling me there is nothing we can do and I am about to show her different.

I will have time Wednesday to make a personal appearance at their fancy office and show these idiots just what a scene an unhappy customer can cause.

 

What really pisses me off is that I am paying for a service I am not receiving and getting shined on by some stupid representative who seriously needs to deal with me face to face for about fifteen fucking seconds.

Just long enough to shit themselves when they realize I am one pissed off bastard and platitudes are what are going to be on your fucking tombstone if I don’t see at LEAST two fucking repair trucks on my street before I fucking get home.

 

The dirty sonsabitches have a virtual government decreed monopoly around here and some serious complacency has set in.

 

You can go to a dish for your fucking television but your fucked on the internet connection.

I am so mad at these fucking idiots I could kick their fucking door down.

So until I can get off work and go sneaking around in my bedroom looking for that sweet spot that is my unaware neighbors wifi or by some fucking miracle Comcast actually figures out just where that pesky fucking squirrel chewed through their precious fucking cable, it will continue to be quiet on the computer but be assured their will be some high speed bitching going on by yours truly.

 

Thanks fer stopping by and stay the fuck out of kicking distance.

 

UPDATE,
One phone call.
I has teh toobz again.
The wife has been calling every day and getting the automated message.
I called and let the fuckers exhaust all their menu options until I got a live human being on the fucking phone.
He transferred me to technical support and away we went with the step by step bullshit.
It’s only a partial win, we currently only have four fucking channels and for some reason the wifes computer is not hooking up wirelessly at the moment.
She is out having a smoke and fuming herself.

The dude activated the fucking thing while I was talking to him and I didn’t use one cuss word but I do know how to get peoples attention without them and know how to talk on the phone and get results.
They are still having issues with “down graded service” in our area but you can bet your ass that guy was on the phone the minute I hung up.

Don’t make me call you again damnit.

UPDATE #2

Well lookie here, someone at Comcast actually showed up here and left a comment and a link trying to help me out.

comcastmark Says:
May 29, 2012 at 11:51 am | Reply edit

Hi there!

I work for Comcast. I can reach out to my local colleagues to look into this. If you are interested in my help, you can contact me provide your account info, your best contact number and a link to this page (for reference).

I apologize for the trouble.
Mark Casem
Comcast Corp.
National Customer Operations
We_can_help@cable.comcast.com

To which I replied,

bustednuckles Says:
May 29, 2012 at 10:39 pm | Reply edit

Yeah, thanks Comcast dude.
Read the update.
I handled it my way and got it done.
If you people would put an option on your fucking menu to talk to a human instead of trying to navigate some Byzantine menu of recorded options that are completely unnecessary you would actually be doing yourselves a favor.

By the way, I see the rumors that you guys cruise the net looking to do damage control are true.

Why don’t you direct your attention to customer satisfaction as a top priority and maybe you won’t have to expose yourselves to the horrors of what frustrated customers like me have to say about you on a damn Blog.

25 thoughts on “Comcast Can Suck My Fucking Dick

  1. My tiny Internet Provider company was started by a guy who was just as pissed off at Comcast as you are. He provides great service.

    The only reason I have great high speed connection out here in the woods is that the guy likes to camp on my lake so he made the town a great offer and installed cable.

    I had satelite Internet before that because the phone system is so crappy dial up ran at half speed or less.

  2. You just don’t understand bud,we are not allowed choice in Merca when it comes to the internets.

    I’m paying for 5MB and it runs 2MB. This is the only player here too. I’ve been to the office before and there is another coming soon.

    1. Ha complaining about 2MB? Really my internet runs at .20MB a second THATS POINT .20. I wish I had your problems bro. D:

  3. Hi there!

    I work for Comcast. I can reach out to my local colleagues to look into this. If you are interested in my help, you can contact me provide your account info, your best contact number and a link to this page (for reference).

    I apologize for the trouble.
    Mark Casem
    Comcast Corp.
    National Customer Operations
    We_can_help@cable.comcast.com

  4. Hope the guy above is above board.

    However, in my vast experience living around the country I can report that companies everywhere promise more than they can deliver, and thus lots of customers never have the connections they are paying for and get connected very slowly in order to let more bandwidth open up (from the customers leaving in disgust).

    Time Warner is famous for this and Comcast (I’ve heard) is among the worst at making its customers pay well in advance of actually getting even a portion of the service. Fly has a case in point. Many of these companies never provide the bandwidth promised.

    Hope you get lucky, sweetheart.

    Congrats on the new life.

    Salute!

    Suzan

  5. Yeah there is nothing like a good old American monopoly. They do what they want, when they want and charge too much for suckass service. Internet should be a basic human right. Everyone, especially students need a computer to do their work. Whats the best is when their service is interrupted and you can’t access what you need to, you have to call THEM and demand that they take the money off their bill. Not only that, but you are a slave to their “specials” with their “contracts”. FYI, when I moved and got my new cable box, the guy told me that their software was not interfacing with the boxes correctly. Good Luck Busted! You are a kickass dude.

  6. Yeah, thanks Comcast dude.
    Read the update.
    I handled it my way and got it done.
    If you people would put an option on your fucking menu to talk to a human instead of trying to navigate some Byzantine menu of recorded options that are completely unnecessary you would actually be doing yourselves a favor.

    By the way, I see the rumors that you guys cruise the net looking to do damage control are true.

    Why don’t you direct your attention to customer satisfaction as a top priority and maybe you won’t have to expose yourselves to the horrors of what frustrated customers like me have to say about you on a damn Blog.

  7. Have you tried your phone system for internet? I have ATT- but not U Verse TV-for internet.
    How about DISH, they tell me that they can give me internet besides all of the channels that I pay for that I never watch.
    I understand that even in the Kansas boonies you can get internet via DISH.
    So, there must be at least 2 or 3 different options for both internet and TV. Why stick with comcast?
    I was with Time-Warner back in 2003 but in 2004 switched over to DISH and am generally a satisified customer
    There are choices besides cable, you just have to look for them

  8. Busted
    I like that they think coming on blogs and sounding good is enough. That they never worry about actually giving you what you pay for goes right over their heads. Well actually it goes right into their pockets. The fuckers. I’ll bet Mark the crapcast guy gets paid to troll blogs rather than fix anything. Assholes.
    I’ve been a business owner and all I can say is that I’d have slit my wrists rather than provide the kind of service that most internet providers do. Shitheads.

  9. I support you dude, these major ISPs are getting use to having so many flaws. And the worst part is its totally legal for them to dick us around.

  10. xfinity sent me a naughty email a few months ago about downloading movies. I replied their streaming is so fucking piss-poor I’m lucky to watch youtube in anything higher than 144p. My service didn’t improve, but I don’t get any more harassing emails. So….FUCK YOU CUMBLAST/FUXFINITY- I’LL DOWNLOAD WHATEVER I GODDAMNED PLEASE BECAUSE I’M PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR SHIT SERVICE.

  11. my service with Comcast ends Dec 1,2015. I’m trying to get them to continue my current price for another year starting Dec 2, 2015. They’ve agree to this except they don’t know how proration fees work. Basically, I can pay twice for November or go without service from Dec 2 until Dec 21. There’s no logic behind that Dec 21 date other than they pulled it from their ass and they’re running with it. Initially they tried “prorating” Dec by charging me for the full month then recharging me for most of it again, I have no idea why. They can’t read my bill. They can’t tell when my service starts (Hint: it’s on the bill) or when it ends (also shown on the bill). The good people there just keep assuring me that my due date won’t change. Of course it won’t, but they’ll gladly charge me twice for the same month.

  12. I will break glass, flat tires, destroy them if another unrequested tech shows at my door he is dead. Who the fuc sends tech to your house without saying 1 word to you or asking you. You clicked slow internet so we send a tech. Well you have to click something on their list to speak with a dis service use4less scam xfinity rep . keep it up Comcast we are going to be on the national news soon. B.G.Flow.

  13. fools. if you don’t believe that was original posting wasn’t an in-house posting by comcast, your mommy pays your bill. FUCK YOU DUCHES”

  14. You get what you accept… Fucking assholes know this… Don’t accept shit service. Make those fuckers squirm face to face explaining why they suck. I love to hear them explain why they have failed. I have devoted large time blocks of my life just to sit in front of those fuckers and hear them “explain to me again and again why they are failing”. Take up their time and make it too expensive to simply fail you… End every visit with, “See you tomorrow asshole, Rick was it?” Then show up, have lunch at their desk…

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