You can stagger around after waking up too early in the fucking morning and flip a switch and have an instant, beautiful gas fireplace come on with the fake logs and can’t even light a fucking cigarette with the fucking thing because it is behind a plate of glass and your lighter is somewhere in the bedroom so you have to go slam the toaster down like yer mom taught ya forty fucking years ago.
Who are these nanny cocksuckers and where are they so I can cock punch the stupid mother fuckers?
Oh, sure, it’s for my safety.
I am positive it is the same bunch of fucking tight asses who won’t allow beer commercials to let anyone actually drink fucking beer, because beer is bad for me and I have to wear seat belts, my kids have to wear helmets to ride their bikes or skate boards and god Forbid I don’t put my garbage can five feet away from the recycling bin at precisely seven AM on Thursday morning, I even got a note for that shit.
Nanny needs a good stomp in the crotch.
Update, oh FUCK ME I forgot about the cigarettes that go dead now because some fuck head burned his house down and now the fucking cock suckers go out.
Smooth move motherfuckers, try sticking a half smoked cigarette in a fucking toaster some time.
I’m sure there will be a law against that in the works next week.
Now I am lacing up my steel toe’d boots that I have to wear at work and I am coming for your Nancy asses with my safety glasses on and a work permit signed in triplicate.