Kiss Me Twice, I’m Double Irish

That explains why I can drink more than two normal humans.

My Grand father and Grand mother were both first generation Irish Americans.
Their parents came from the Old Country in the late 1860’s.
His brother and her sister also married.
Hence, I can say with some certainty that I have a pretty good dose of the green.
The Patriarchs came from a little town in County Antrim called Ballymena, it’s actually on the map.
In honor of this being St. Patricks day, I thought I would leave you with my best wishes and my favorite Irish joke, there are millions of them out there.

A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Murphy. The boss thought, “I’m not hiring that lazy Mick…” so he decided to set a test for Murphy hoping he wouldn’t be able to answer the questions, and he’d be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.

The first question was, Without using numbers, represent the number 9. Murphy says, “Dats easy” and proceeds to draw three trees. The boss says, “What the hell is that?” Murphy says “Tree ‘n tree n’ tree makes nine”. Fair enough, says the boss.

Second question, same rules, but represent 99. Murphy stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. “Der ya go sir” he says. The boss scratches his head and says, “How on earth do you get that to represent 99?” Murphy says, “each tree’s dirty now! So it’s dirty tree, n’ dirty tree n’ dirty tree, dats 99.”

The boss is getting worried he’s going to have to hire him, so he says, “All right, question three. Same rules again, but represent the number 100”. Murphy stares into space again, then he shouts, “I got it!” he makes a little mark at the base of each tree, and says, “There ya go sir. 100.” The boss looks at Murphy’s attempt and thinks, Ha! Got him this time. “Go on Murphy, you must be crazy if you think that represents a hundred.”

Murphy leans forward and points to the marks at the tree bases, and says, “A little dog comes along and craps by each tree, so now ya got, dirty tree an’ a turd, dirty tree an’ a turd, and dirty tree an’ a turd, which makes a hundred, when do I start my job?”

Happy St. Patricks day and if you ever find this shirt, I want it.

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