I Hate It When That Happens

Holy Fuck.

I was talking on the phone to some nice young lady trying to pay those over priced motherfuckers at Verizon when I took a swig off the jug and that sonofabitch went down the wrong pipe.

FUUUUUUUUCK me!
Coughing, choking, wheezing and talking like I had a rasp ran up and down my throat ensued.

Damn, ya haven’t lived until ya’ve had 40 proof go down the wrong way.
It’ll get yer attention real quick.

I finally got enough wind to finish the conversation, I think the poor dear was going to try and call 911 for me.

I finally convinced her I was good to go.

Damn, that was harsh.

I’m just glad my seven dollar fast food dinner didn’t come up.

I hate that.

The Wife tells me on the phone tonight that I am in no uncertain terms that I am going to come see her this weekend, even if she has to come get me for a round trip of over a hundred and sixty miles.

My thoughts on this are mixed.

Should she leave her panties at home or wear them so I can rip them off with my teeth?

Personally, I vote for the latter.

Ya, Ya, I am a horn dog, I know, I was a dirty old man when I was ten fucking years old and now I have perfected it into an art form.

Just for shits and grins, I have been working at a college for the last two weeks and have seen HUNDREDS of hot little nubiles walk by En Mass in their short shorts and tank tops and have not only not been slapped yet but they haven’t called the cops yet. I have had several little cuties smile at me.They know, and I know, there be no touchy but it sure as hell makes an old guy feel good to have a little cutie not run away screaming while dialing 911…..

Oh yeah, I know I am married now but I can still look and I can’t wait to get back and be with the hottest one of all.

Those little cuties are fun to watch but My Baby has it going on like they won’t ever understand.

OHHHHHHH yeah, My baby takes Damn good care of me.

I ain’t just talking shit, either.
my wife IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING AWESOME!

I am sure there will come a day when she get’s pissed off at me and I ain’t a bit worried about that, I know how much it costs to get divorced and she is going to be stuck with my narrow ass, she is the one that wanted to get married.*

In the mean time it is adults only, rated “R” and y’all have a nice day!

* Take my word for it, I thought long and hard before I asked her to marry me.

Been there, Done that before.
She is a good woman.

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