I got nothin’ and I’m too drunk to care. Have a nice day.
The CEO of British Petroleum, who is captain of the ship and therefore responsible for the wreck, took a little time off this week to go yachting. Nice. Why in the fuck isn’t somebody forcing this asshole into rubber boots and slapping his ass up and down the beach while making him lick the turtles clean? Every fucking last one of ’em.
President Obama pretended to be outraged but failed to do any kind of a decent acting job at it. Teleprompter must have malfunctioned or some such shit. Near as I can tell he’s fucking lost without it.
Best part was that language guy who said that Obama’s speech was written at a 10th grade level (9.8 to be exact) and it went over the heads of the audience. Ha! See how fucking stupid they think we are?
The US national team got absolutely fucking robbed in the World Cup via a somehow disallowed goal against Slovenia or Slovakia or Sofuckingwhatistan. Michael Bradley was being bear-hugged in the box and all the ref saw was a phantom foul by the goal scorer? WTF? That’s what you get for taking the field in a US uniform overseas, I guess. Payback’s a bitch.
Some Ornery Bastard I know always wants to buy “just one more” shot of Jameson before he heads off to boink Nasty Girl. I’m sorry…did I say that with my out loud voice? Say hi to her for me dude. Just not while your boinking her, okay? That’d be kinda creepy.
Some random guy knocked on my door tonight. Major WTF since I live in the boonies. Some guy, got a little girl with him about 4 or so. Says he needs water cause his van overheated and he just happened to pull over in my driveway. Nice. Yeah, hang on a sec and I’ll bring ya some out. First thought, of course, was make sure the guns are loaded but then I remembered they always are. Second thought was dial 911 on the cell and be ready to push the button.
I’m a little too cynical sometimes. I took the guy out a pot o’ water and chatted with him. Nice fella, it turned out. His kid was cute and showed me some daisies she picked so I pointed out some more for her and she toddled off. He got his van going and thanked me and that was that.
Be a better world if it worked that way more often.