What a Royal pain in the ass it has been.
Not only have I been bedridden with THE WORST fucking cold of my life, since last fucking Tuesday, I finally crawl to some kind of cognizant thought about eleven thirty this morning and roll over and hit the computer to see what is going on and I repeatedly get an error message that my Verizon Piece of Shit Air Card is “out of order”.
After two grueling hours of dealing with a very nice young lady from tech support, we gave up.
She thinks it is a software problem, I think the card took a shit.
I still have my old laptop sitting here , plugged in, so the cats have a keyboard to lay on, they are just that way.
I plugged it back into that and got the same error message.
That tells me the card is fucked.
So, while the nice lady is mailing me a new disc, I called my old man, because he has the same shit, and asked him where the nearest Verizon store is and if it is open.
Sure enough, about ten miles and they are. The nice lady wanted me to drive to Oregon, about sixty miles, round trip.
So, I call this place and ask them if they can test my card, no, their computers are locked to keep them from watching football or porn. or some fucking thing.
I talk to this nice young man, describe my problem, he say’s, all I can do is get a new card as a premature upgrade.
For Eighty fucking dollars.
Fine, I says, give me a few and I will be there.
Drag my carcass out of bed, fire up the Beast, another story I am pissed about, and drive up there.
As I am pulling out of the driveway, my phone rings, so I stop and answer it.
It is some lady friend who is half drunk and starts in about this crazy lady who used to live across the street who was pulling her chain. It took a good three minutes to get her off the fucking phone and when I hang up to pull out, I see a local cop sitting across the street, as far as I know, he has been there the whole time and here I only have comprehensive insurance on the Beast.
I hung up, turned on the turn signal, pulled out and prayed.
It must have worked.
I get there, after scaring the shit out of anyone within thirty feet of the Beast, and there is a fucking line of people, on a Sunday.
Some guy comes a me with a clip board and I think to myself, here we go.
Takes some info and says wait until we can get to ya.
My fucking head is spinning and my knees are wobbling just standing there.
Fortunately, a cute chubby chick comes up and we start in. I ain’t in a good mood and I am being curt, not rude, just curt.
We dicked around about ten minutes and my knees are getting wobblier and my head is spinning faster. FINALLY, she says, that will be 99 bucks with a rebate.
I told her I had talked to this guy Matt and he said eighty.
Off she goes. Pretty soon Matt overrides her ass and then it is pay the lady and get back home.
Delete Verizo0n, reinstall, it works, I go to get on the internets and FireFox is fucked up.
By now, I am pissed off.
I load Internet Explorer, I have teh internets again and delete FireFox, reload the sonofabitch and here we are.
Ain’t life Grand?
See ya later, I gotta go back to bed now.